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Archive for February, 2010

On the Road to Victory

I am about halfway through the book So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore and I thought I would share with you the thing that I think God is really wanting to hammer home to me this far.  We can, as women, be victorious and wonderfully secure!  The thing that has really been so helpful is understanding the ways in which my security is sooooooooooooooooooooooo attached to Daniel. I mean, I knew that to some degree, but I think I see it more clearly now.

When we got married, I was very much a nag.  I wanted a fairy tale romance so bad…and I wanted it to be (him to be) sweet and lovely all the time.  I would watch a movie….The notebook, Pride and Prejudice, other romantic ones…and think to myself…”why cant Daniel be like that? Why cant it be romantic and passionate like that?”  Poor Daniel.  I was awful. 

 I also remember the first time he told me he had problems with lust occasionally. I freaked out.  Many times.  A lot of which were just on the inside.  All of these emotions going wild inside…like…”am I not attractive enough to him? We are married and he still looks at other women!!!? ”  I could not understand it.  It would make me feel horrible and I, in turn, would be manipulative and controlling. 

I have grown some since then and what I am learning is huge.  Daniel is not my mirror.  He cannot be my all in all.  If I look to him and him alone for my worth…my security…my value as a woman…I will be utterly disappointed.  Daniel is human.  He is not capable of being all that I have so desperately needed him to be FOR ME in the past.  That kind of pressure is too great for anyone to bear.  Its unrealistic.  And thats what makes me mad these days about romantic movies.  Dont get me wrong…I looooooooooove them. I love romance and the love that is shared between a man and a woman. It is a beautiful thing.  Mine and Daniel’s love has blossomed and become something so much more than I could have dreamed of. But…when Hollywood makes love look like something it is not….when they make the man out to be this overly sensitive, romantic, person with all the right things to say…it is only building up the idea of marriage and of men in general AS GODS…as more than they really are.

And so I am learning to let Daniel be just a man….be fallen…broken.  Not something more.  Not my mirror.  My security HAS to come from above.  Those longings I feel when I watch movies like that…they arent wrong…they are simply placed on the wrong person.  They should be directed at my maker.  He is the only one who can fulfill them…satisfy them…affirm them.  And in the process I see transformation….I see a more confident woman…a more secure woman.  I still have a long way to go…but I am heading in the right direction…

There are so many more issues that go along with the way women feel insecure and why we struggle with this so badly.  I feel sorry for us!!!  But there is victory and I am claiming mine!!

Have a sweet weekend!!!!

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Lovely

Sometimes…clothes take my breath away.  Now, I can walk in a store and like a good bit….I can love a few…but every now and again…something will literally leave me a little breathless…

Like this…

 

 

And this…

 

And this…

 

These are peices by Elizabeth Dye and I am a new fan.  The photos are from her blog at www.elizabethdye.blogspot.com.  She designs mostly wedding gowns and dresses for special occasions. 

A little bit of beauty and romance on this Saturday…

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A Tall Glass of Water

We went this past weekend to Tampa to see my BFF 🙂 Darla and her husband. We had the best time.  I hope you have a great friend. One that sticks closer than a brother…one that knows your good, bad, and all in between…one that you can laugh till midnight with.  They are few and far between and they are precious.

One thing that was quite incredible while we were there was visiting their church in Tampa.  I know it may seem like I am on a church kick…its just something that really fascinates me, intrigues me, something I am really passionate about.  I have no idea why.  On a quick side note, I was reading a girls blog advising other writers to write about things that make them come alive…and writing about this subject really makes me feel that way.

We pulled up to the church parking lot a few minutes late.  Darla and I are notorious for taking forever to get ready…at least with our husbands.  I think they are used to it by now though.  We walk in after dropping Maris off at the nursery and I am immediately taken aback by the music.  It was different. A little odd.  But simple….beautiful.  There were musicians very skilled in the violin, piano, base guitar, acoustic guitar, drums.  The sound was authentic and non-trendy…songs that sounded like they were written by the worship leader himself.  A soloist guitar player and singer got up and sang a very soulful, heartfelt, blues-like song about holding onto Jesus through tough times.  Did he do a perfect job…no…but it was so from his heart that it moved me almost to tears.

Then the pastor got up.  He taught. He was not “preachy.”  He taught us like he would if he were a professor and in a classroom.  He was witty and funny and he used photoshop and images on the big screen to help make his points more affective.  It was tremendous…once again…simple.  I learned.  I was challenged.  I remember today what his points were 4 days ago.

After he was done, we shared in the Lords supper.  I truly felt so thankful for what Jesus had done for me.  As I sat in my seat and watched others walk down the aisles to do the same I noticed the variety of people that attended this place.  There were Chinese, Japanese, African Americans, Cubans, Whites, disabled people, older people, younger people, the artistic/emo/trendy type, the clean cut type, the nerdy type…ect…and we were all there worshiping together…learning together…It was beautiful. 

After the service,  the pastor made an effort to meet me and talk with me for a few minutes.  I told him how much I enjoyed the service. 

I left feeling very grateful that I had been apart of such a service.

I understand we are the church.  But you have to know that the ways in which we do corporate “church” are important.  And it was so refreshing to see this unit of believers doing it in an affective way…an enjoyable way.  It was a church in which I felt the life of Christ in and around and throughout…It was a tall glass of water…

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A Glorious Book List

It was supposed to snow this morning in South Alabama.  Schools were closed.  We wake up this morning and what do you know…no snow.

So, a lot of blogs I read post a book list every now and then showing what they are currently reading….I thought I would do the same!  I enjoy seeing what others are reading and a lot of times I will come across a great book that way.  Oh, and speaking of blogs, I found this one blog the other day that is simply phenomenal.  It is on my blog roll.  The blog site is www.proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com.  If you are a young mother, I think it will especially speak to you, although I think God is speaking through this woman to women of every age.  She talks a great deal about motherhood, marriage, modesty, taking care of our homes, homeschooling, teaching our daughters to be feminine and our sons to be warriors.  I really cant say enough about it, so check it out!!

Ok…here is the book list…

So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore:  I have already begun this book and I think it is going to change womens lives everywhere!  We all, most of us rather, struggle with the issue of insecurity and I feel as if, as I read this book, God is peeling back the layers and wanting to dig out all of the crap…the self-doubt…the lies…and all the insecurity that goes along with being a female in the world we live in.  Please! Please! Please go get this book!

Curl Talk by Ouidad: Ok..so I have issues with my hair these days. It either looks wild and messy…or if I straighten it…it looks flat and just wrong.  This book has been so helpful on how to deal with curly/wavy hair.  It immediatley gives you tips on how to manage and make your curly hair “perform” as she says it.  For example: Never, ever, do the wet hair wrapped in the turban towel thingy! Not good…

Sex God by Rob Bell:  I have not read any of Rob Bells books before.  I have heard mixed reviews on his writing and theology.  I met an amazing girl at the Womens Center the other day who is a fan and we had a great conversation about this book so I thought I would give ole Rob a try.  From what I understand, he dives into the ways in which we as sexual human beings created in the image of God…reflect the very real and sexual nature or characteristics of God and how the spiritual and sexual meet. It sounds fascinating. And that might be a totally “off” description…so after I finish the book…I will let you know what I gleaned from it. 

Vintage Church by Mark Driscoll: I really like Mark Driscoll.  I have not read this one yet but I cannot wait!! Being that, I’ve been dealing a lot with church and what that should look like…what it means…I thought this would be helpful.  He is very honest and real and hopefully closes the gap a little between the way the church functioned in Acts and the New Testament…and how to incorporate that into a culture that really needs Christ.

Bobbi Brown Make Up Manual:  I love make up! And Bobbi Brown…so there ya go…

Crazy Love by Francis Chan:  Heard so many great things about this one.  God’s love is so beautiful and wild and unfathomable and crazy!!! I want to fathom it, understand it, and rest in it so much more than I do right now.

So…theres the list!!!! I hope your weekend is spledid!!!! We are going to Tampa to see my best friend in the whole world, Darla!! It has been too long! Blessings!

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You know, for a while, I have secretly had this inner struggle.  It is something I dont really talk a whole lot about because I feel like I should be further along…more mature in my walk with Christ.  Although, I’m sure we all have times when we deal with questions and doubts and underlying fear.

My struggle has been this feeling…this extremely loud but quiet ( if that makes sense) voice that says…”Its too much…What God has offered…What He has done…Its too much…too gracious to comprehend…You cant possibly admit you are a sinner, ask for forgiveness, submit to Christ, follow Him, and  then in return be saved….Its TOO SIMPLE…TOO EASY!”

Oh, the lies, the lies…and oh, how I will fall for them over and over…I am ashamed to say…

I was talking with my good friend Melanie and she reminded me of the criminal on the cross.  What did he ask Jesus? To remember him. Did he pray the sinners prayer? Did he ask Jesus to please come into his heart? No. He was desperate for Jesus and all he said was…”Remember me..”  Wow. How utterly simple. And that man was gloriously rescued and was in Paradise that very day.

I think we have complicated the message and have gotten away from the simplicity of the gospel.  The simplicity in that God wants everyone to be rescued…He wants and desires that none should perish…none would enter Hells gates except for Satan and the fallen angels…thats what Hell was intended for….Heaven is for everyone who would, out of desperation…out of need…out of our innermost parts…say to Jesus…”Remember me…Save me…Take me in…Make me yours!”

And His arms then open wide.  And yes it is sometimes too gracious for me to comprehend.  God’s love exceeds the measures of my thought.  His love is crazy.  His love is too much.  But thats what makes Him so wonderful and what makes everything…good, bad, and the ugly…worth it all.

Thank you Jesus!

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