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Archive for May, 2011

Are you serious??……………

I’ve never paid much attention to her…until last night…

We are sitting watching the finale of American Idol…which may I just confess that I should not have been doing…

The last few episodes have had so much trashy entertainment on them that to watch it last night was sin…because I knew in my spirit that it was wrong…but I did it anyway…

When Lady Ga Ga came on, my heart felt sick…my stomach ached…I honestly wanted to cry or yell…

I wanted to seriously look around me and scream…”Can you believe this??? WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!” …but it was just Daniel sitting next to me and he doesn’t give me the dramatic response I soooooooooooooo need at this moment in time…

So then I dreamt about walking on the American Idol stage and screaming….”Can you believe this???WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! Snap out of it!!! Whatever happened to the days of Mary Tyler Moore and Lucille Ball and Frank Sinatra??!!! Dont you see that entertainment like this…our pop culture…its ruining us…our children!!!!!!”

And then me and God had a conversation that went something like this…

God: “Sweet child, what do you expect from a world that is ruled and governed by satan himself…He is the deceiver…the liar…the prince of everything dark and evil and wrong…”

Me: “Great! So..how in the world am I supposed to raise Maris, Davis, and Mac…but especially my daughter…in a world like this? How God!!!? I can’t just lock her up until she is 30………………..Can I?…………….. What do I do!!!!?”

God: “You show her Me, Lauren……….  You teach them about me….You show them me…Because I am better…The Light is better…And if you are faithful to not just talk at them about me, but SHOW them me…then the world and its lies, what satan has to offer won’t be appealing…because they will choose what is better!”

Me: “Infinitly better! Like The Washhouse filet compared to dogfood…no…that doesn’t even do you justice…”

Then I proceeded to beg for mercy…because I am just as messed up and sin filled as the next guy…and if it weren’t for Jesus I’d be singing along with lady ga ga and believing every single lie the enemy threw at me…

But, I do believe…for us Christians…there is a wake up call in order…

We need to be firm and vigilant…

We have to be in and not of this world…

We have to be salt and light….

AND!…

Show our children and the world what is better!!

Much Love sweet ones!!!!

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This time of year I fall in love with God…my heart seems to come alive just at looking around me…at all He has made…

God loves beauty… He loves abundance… He loves to create and be this incredible artist, not only for our pleasure but for his own as well…( read Desiring God by John Piper)…

I have been craving fresh food.

Partly because the stomach bug went through our family, except Mac ( breastmilk is miraculous), and the past few days I have felt completely horrible…

And the only foods that sounds good are fresh blueberries…or pineapple…or carrots…or a whole cucumber to munch on…I dream about buying a juicer and drinking all kinds of concoctions made with fresh fruits and vegetables…sauteeing squash and zucchini and onions and garlic…fresh tomatos for B.L.T.’s….

Can you tell I haven’t eaten in three days?

These are the foods of summer…and of course homemade Apple Pie with ice cream on the side…

And I love riding down the road and seeing the wheat fields as golden as can be…or the corn fields right after it has rained…the colors seem so much more brilliant after a shower…

God not only takes such good care of us…but He cares so much for the earth…for the foods we enjoy…and the plants to give us clean air…

And just to make us stop and say… “If these Peonies are this gorgeous…How much more gorgeous is our Creator who made them?”

These verses from Psalms say it all…

“You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly.  The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain for so you have ordained it.  You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops.  You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.  The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness.  The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing.” Psalm 65 :9-13

That is our God!

Have a blessed and gorgeous weekend!!!

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Before I had Mac, people would frequently ask if this is our first and then after telling them he will be our third and how old his brother is…“Bless your little heart…You’re gonna have your hands full!“…would be the typical response…

Laugh…

They were so so so so so so so right…( I use the overexagerated “so” in honor of Maris…she is into saying a lot of “so’s” these days)…

Yes…I have my hands full…And at times all I want to do is scream…”I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”…

And I have…

It was more or less in the form of an uncontrollable sob to Daniel as he looked on with bewilderment like…”well its too late now”….

It really is the hardest thing…I couldn’t have dreamed it would be as hard as it is…

But a few reminders to myself.

1. I can’t do it. On my own.  That is what I think God has been showing me.  I have never been so needy of His help before in my life.  I cannot be the mother I know I need to be for my children without His ENORMOUS power helping me along the way.

2. This is going to fly by…and our children are going to grow up…so, I am going to try and savor these moments and let them burn in my memory…even the chaotic ones when I would rather crawl in the bed and pull the covers over my head than change another diaper or read another blasted Cat in the Hat book…

3. My own selfishness doesn’t always want to give so much…but that’s what God has called me to do as a Mother…to give…give until it hurts…the past few weeks have hurt…but I am slowly learning the joys of being selfless…And there is so much fulfillment and satisfaction in it…

4. And I love…love…love being a Mother.  It is such a high calling….One I feel so unworthy of….I love hearing Maris say to me…”I love you Momma…to the moon and back!”….or Davis’ big ole self belly laughing so hard it makes me want to cry…it is THAT cute…or Mac’s little short breaths on my chest when I am holding him and he is so perfectly content….

There is nothing sweeter and nothing harder…

Being a Momma.

I hope you have an amazing Mother’s Day!!!

Love to You sweet friends! Thank you for all the Congrats on Mac!!

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