Archive for the ‘Character flaws’ Category

I sit with Daniel on the couch, soaking up our alone time…we flip through the channels and land on a bio film of Johnny Cash’s life…

I’ve always been drawn to the man…I’ve always thought he was ruggedly handsome, cool…like my grandfather, Dah…dark hair, dark eyes, tall and big lanky, the kind of presence that makes people listen to what you have to say…

He, if you know anything about him, struggled for most of his life with addiction…but towards the middle/end of his life…fell in love with Jesus and knew He was his only way out…

In one of the interviews concerning his faith in Christ, his daughters said something to the effect of…”For some reason, Daddy never saw his faith as having anything to do with being good”….

He got grace.

I wanna get grace like that…and stop trying to be this way or that way…stop worrying to death about whether or not to homeschool our children…stop worrying about if I am a good enough whatever…stop trying to hide my own ugliness or hide from the ugliness of sinful humanity…

I just wanna soak up grace and trust God for the unknowns…understanding I’m not good…Only God is Good…and He will interweave grace, beauty, and love through me like I could not believe…If I will just ask and let him…

I wanna be real…warts-and-all…real….

Like Johnny Cash.

Maris and I were painting this morning…and here is a watercolor of the Man in Black…




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I need prayer!

So, Here’s the deal…

I am a big baby…

But wanting to be braver! More fearless!

This may sound ridiculous and silly to you guys but I am having major anxiety over going ahead and having this thing on my lip removed by local anesthesia on Thursday morning…

Like a complete IDIOT, I went online and researched what the surgery would be like, and now I’m terrified.

I may call them tomorrow and cancel…and wait until after baby is born…

But I really don’t want to.

So, would you please pray for me. Please! Please pray that I will rely on Jesus, even in as silly and small circumstances as this, to help me go through with it!

And, I would like you all to know that I am here for you if you ever need prayer for anything!!! I think God is teaching me about prayer and the power therein. So, please never hesitate to let me know of a prayer request you may have! We, as brothers and sisters, need to lift each other up in prayer to our Father, who cares for us so deeply and strongly!

 I love you friends!

I’ll let you know how it goes!

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Not perfect

I am really trying to be what I know God wants me to be, but i still feel a long long long ways off from that.

The words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart arent always pleasing to Him.  I do have a habit of saying the “s” word when i burn myself or stump my toe or bump into something or lock my keys in my car.  I dont really say other curse words much…just that one for some reason.

 It just flows so easily off my tongue and i said it the other day at mom and dad’s, and dad got that real stern look on his face and said, “I dont want you saying that word around my grand-daughter.”  Well I dont want to say that word around her either dad but it is a habit. One that I’m trying to break. Nobody’s perfect.

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