Archive for the ‘Modesty’ Category

Ok I’m going to be honest.

I have had a hard time with the idea that men lust, or my husband may lust.  I remember being a naive newlywed and asking him one day, so nonchalantly, …”so you dont look lustfully at other women do you?”…And my husband was honest to my own horror and dismay.  It really hurt and I still feel the sting of it at times.

I’ve heard for so long that men are just visual…and they are.  But for the life of me, I could not and still to some extent cant understand this.  I mean, why would you look or think lustful thoughts when you have such a beautiful woman of your own!!! I mean, really!!

And I have come to grips with the fact that my husband may always struggle with this. Now, he can be victorious over it at times, but it will be a struggle nonetheless.

And we openly and freely talk about these things to which I am grateful.  So, I asked him…”Do women make it more difficult for you guys by the way they dress?”

Daniel: “um, yeah!”

So I began to notice this and make note of it in my head.  We’d be out to eat (cleavage galore!), at a movie, at a baseball game (if Maris EVER wears shorts as short as these little teenagers wear oh my word!), at the grocery store, at CHURCH, at a wedding (holy cow one girl was wearing a dress that showed her entire back down to her butt crack!), …and so many other women who dressed in a way that screamed “Undress me!”

And it infuriates me…I mean, we women have enough problems with insecurity and comparisons let alone the thought of our husbands checking females out!!!

But then, before I ruthlessly  judged and condemned other women for how they dress,  I did a little soul searching, a little self evaluation of how I’ve dressed for all the years I could dress myself.  So I asked myself…”Lauren, are you careful to dress in a way that keeps your brother in Christ from stumbling….Do you have compassion and love enough for your sisters in Christ whose husbands may be weak in this area and who may be struggling with lust and even porn addiction…Are you setting a good example for those 15 year old girls who want to wear the butt-floss-ish blue jean shorts because they want attention from boys?”

And of course I’ve been guilty…I think if we are honest..we all would be at some point.  But I just know here in the last year or so I’ve really become keenly aware of how sex is just everywhere you go.  And I’ve known that, but you have to understand that the culture we live in…as Christians…we have become numb to it. We watch movies, television, read magazines..and sex and lust is all up in there.

Recently, I have just been fed up! A movie will be on and seeing the nastiness, the way sex is portrayed, the lies it is telling, and the way it completely goes against my Lord makes me physically sick to my stomach.  And at times before I have watched it through because of the lure of the story line.

I just want myself and other women to understand we are different. We are aliens and strangers here. Yes, we can look beautiful…Yes, we can look nice…we are women and women delight in those things…but if our main focus is how we look and trying to look sexy, then we are missing it and we are miserable.  And the heart of the matter I will save for another blog.

This is a link to one of my favorite blogs. Anne Jackson did a survey the other day asking men and women to answer questions about how women dress. The quotes from men and women is what is so powerful and inspiring really.


Happy thursday!! You are loved!


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