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So, I don’t get out much…

It’s just so much easier to stay at your house…you and the kids do your thing…let them get their naps and stay on schedule…I am praying for God to rid me of the schedule thing…I am controlled by nap times/eating times/…ect.  But, listen, if your kid took 2 (2hour) naps a day…then slept 11 hours at night…you might…be a schedule person too…

So, when my sweet friend Stephanie, another momma, asked me to go with her to see a band member from Korn (remember them?) speak at Church on the Eastern Shore…I said Sure! Even though I was thinking…”I don’t like Korn…Stephanie doesn’t like Korn…this is kind of odd.”

It was also Drug Court Graduation along with Brian (Korn) all in one shebang…so I thought it would be an inspiring night.

So we went.

Church staff people kept looking at us…like “what are ya’ll doing here?”…

We giggled and laughed…sat on the far side of the sanctuary…eager for the night to start…

In walks Brian…dreadlocks down past his shoulders…tattoos everywhere…white t-shirt and jeans…

“Look, there he is!!” Stephanie loudly whispered, like he was some huge superstar….We laughed and determined right then to get his autograph and our picture made with him.

The Drug Court graduation was really special and inspiring. It brought tears to my eyes to hear of the determination and persevearance of these people to really just surrender their lives to the Lord and then give their lives to help others who struggle with addictions and issues that have plagued them.

Brian finally got up and spoke and his testimony was crazy…filled with details of his rock-star life…and the chaos that led him to the cross. Stephanie and I both were drawn to him…to put it in her words…”I just love people who are crazy about Jesus.” He was.

After it was over, yes, we stood in line for his autograph and picture….For about 10 minutes we went back and forth over what we wanted him to write on our peice of paper…”Korn rocks”, “Jesus loves Rock and Roll”, “Jesus loves Rock and Roll Mommies”…and finally…yes after much debate Stephanie went with “Jesus loves Heavy Metal Mommies,” and I went with…”God loves art”….which is something he said in his testimony referring to his tattoos.

And we got our picture taken with him….

 

 

So…the reason I’m telling you all of this is because…Ordinarily, I would have never gone to such an event…Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have waited in line for the man’s autograph or photo opp…Ordinarily, If I would have…I might have just asked meekly…”Hey, can I have your autograph…” Plain ole autograph….Ordinarily, I would have stayed at home to make Daniel’s night with the kids a little less stressful…

But listen, you only get one life…and when you do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do…you end up with a life well lived and stories to share…

We totally almost asked him to go to the Coffee Loft with us…because he would have digged that place…but the Judge looked like it was time for them to leave…

I got home and my cheeks were sore from smiling and I went to bed laughing…I layed there and just whispered to God in my heart…”You are so good…and so fun.”

Who needs drugs when there is the most amazingly wild and wonderful Maker of Heaven and Earth!

Go do something weird and extraordinary!!

Thanks for the date Stephanie!

 

I understand that for many of you, You could care less about Coldplay and their new album…So, I am terribly sorry for this post…I do it more for my enjoyment and passion for the band…Bear with my odd imagination and musings for a moment…

This is somewhat of a comparison. I know comparisons aren’t all that good or helpful…but sometimes you just can’t help it.

Good music should take you somewhere.  Their music takes me places.

Viva La Vida was indescribable….It took me to France in the Summer…Where women wore beautiful dresses like those in Pride and Prejudice…A Revolution was brewing…There was change and romance in the air…I saw me pushing Maris in a tree swing…Daniel and I taking walks in the countryside while we talked over the revolution…and God…and change…and our future…as we ate an apple.  Our spare time is spent either outside or reading books…Books are our food…

We were in love…He wore a half-tucked white airy shirt and pants….He looked all rugged and handsome…Studied and Wise…I wore a long off white dress with a robins egg blue sash…my hair up and messy…Free spirited and fearless

Rich. The perfect word to describe the Journey through Viva La Vida.

Mylo Xyloto is different.  The album takes me to New York…here and now New York…Noise and speed and sound…Walking the streets of New York looking at people’s eyes…seeing their souls….Daniel and I stop at a market…There is color everywhere…I notice the Asian lady…all worn and tired selling beautiful fabric and purses…I buy a purse just to be able to speak with her and see her smile…we stop at a bakery and I get some fresh bread…We go back to our apartment, cluttered with stuff…I put on the album…Hear the beat…Maris and Davis and I stomp to the beat…We dance…We laugh…Life is sweet.

Colorful. The word for Mylo Xyloto.

The lyrics are not deep nor original…but the sound….the sound is very urban and very colorful.

Viva La Vida will always win.

What can I say….

I prefer France.

Facing the Dark

Fear has held me in its grip…It has been tighter lately…I wonder if it has to do with postpartum…After Maris was born I went through agonizing anxiety, panic, fears…

Davis was born next and then three months later I was pregnant again.

I think pregnancy almost brings me some sort of security…The strange and awesome fact that it’s not just me… There is this other one being formed by the Creator…it brings an unusual sense of “you can’t touch me”….I am with child…I am in progress…

And then, after Mac was born things were so insanely busy…We were getting ready to leave…Trying to find time to just breathe…

And now….I’m breathing….It’s just me…Now I am discovering myself as a mother…And while I am enjoying it and reveling in the grit and blood and sweat and tears….God is making me face the darkness…the darkness of what holds me in its grip…Fear.

Fear manipulates me.  It says to me horrible things that could happen. To Me. To those I love.  I won’t write this or that…I won’t speak this or that…For fear that it might be the end.  Fear keeps me from totally enjoying and loving what God has given me…simply because I fear once I do, it will be taken away from me.  All the while, life is drifting by…and fear keeps me from living. Fully living.

Yesterday morning I was praying….Crying and begging God to help me with it. To answer me. To help me get over fear of death.

I went to my Esther Bible study.

It was on fear.

I cried the entire time, trying to hide it from the other women who I didn’t want to see my ugly crying face…

Beth Moore spoke God’s words directly to me…

I knew God was telling me it is time. Time to get over this. Time to face it and break its power over me.

If the worst did happen…God would be there…and He would get me through…

I am wanting to be free…praying to live fully…enjoy deeply…And when satan’s tactics come and his lure to fear beckons me…I want to be able to laugh in his ugly face…

Sorry this post is depressing…Just what I am going through lately…

This life as a Believer in a world like we live in is no. freakin. joke.

But we have a hope that is great and a God that is greater. He will redeem.

Love to You Dear Friends.

 

 

 

 

Last Saturday my parents, my aunt, and I spent the afternoon in downtown Fairhope.  I parked surprisingly close to Mary Ann’s, where we were eating lunch, and unloaded the kids into their double-stroller.  It was a busy Saturday in downtown as there was an art festival, book signings, music…ect…

I strolled the babies along the sidewalk passing a lady who gave me that familiar look that said…”Bless your heart, darlin, I’ve been there…Yours are so cute…But would not trade places with you for a second!…” Complete with a little giggle as she walked past me…

As we finally got into Mary Ann’s and settled at a table… and the ordeal that actually was, I was reminded why I NEVER GET OUT…But then quickly realized why I NEED TO!!!…We saw people we love and know…There was really good music playing somewhere outside…There were artists and authors talking to us…Mom bought his book…There were people laughing and talking over really. good. deli food…There were all kinds of funky/quirky people walking around…It was really great soul stuff…ya know?

As I was heading back home I just felt so thankful to be in Fairhope again.  Growing up in Fairhope was not always fun and there are plenty of things I wish weren’t so about it…(sometimes people in cities like ours can be a tad snobby…maybe a lot snobby)…I’ve witnessed it….But I’ve also witnessed some of the truest, loveliest people I’ve ever known.  There are memories all over the place…It’s home!

I can’t help but think about how that is such a tiny glimpse of how Heaven will be…Loads of lovable people, interesting people, THE Person, rich culture, good food, amazing music, endless adventure and fun, all enveloped in worshipping Him…

It will be unbelievable.

Loving Fairhope you guys!

Loving You Darlin!!! 🙂

Come on in…

And my favorite room in the whole house…

The Bathroom!

It is spacious and far away from little ones…

Please forgive me for taking so long to blog…The last two weeks have been exciting but extremely stressful…

Our new home is so wonderful…I wake up every morning kind of in shock and pinching myself that we are actually in a house this pretty and a neighborhood this sweet…and so close to Walmart :)…

I still have so much work to do…and it is so hard getting unpacked and things in their places when it seems like everytime I start to do something, someone needs juice or a hug or a spanking…

So, I am resolved to take it one day at a time and if our house is a mess….then it is a mess…!

I am really trying to learn the skill and discipline of playing with my kids and not being so obsessed with how my house looks…It is really hard to do!…

I hope you are doing fantastic and having a great week!

I will post more pics soon! I am currently working on the bedrooms…

Love to You!!!

The way to listen to them is with the earphones in your ear…to where the song is in your head in your veins…I have no idea what it is about their music…but it seriously makes me crazy, like I want to be in a room with strobe lights and dance like a wild woman or jump up and down like a lunatic, which I did at their concert …

I can remember having painters block back when we lived in Silverhill…I would put on their music…get that sound in my ears…and start painting…

They are just good…This new one, Paradise, is excellent…

Our apartment here at the ranch is looking different…moving things to the new little house…I am pushing back thoughts of actually having to leave this one little boy…He is like my own…He drives me up the wall and melts my heart…and has been with us from the beginning…

It is going to be hard.

I hope you have an amazing weekend friends!

 

I sit with Daniel on the couch, soaking up our alone time…we flip through the channels and land on a bio film of Johnny Cash’s life…

I’ve always been drawn to the man…I’ve always thought he was ruggedly handsome, cool…like my grandfather, Dah…dark hair, dark eyes, tall and big lanky, the kind of presence that makes people listen to what you have to say…

He, if you know anything about him, struggled for most of his life with addiction…but towards the middle/end of his life…fell in love with Jesus and knew He was his only way out…

In one of the interviews concerning his faith in Christ, his daughters said something to the effect of…”For some reason, Daddy never saw his faith as having anything to do with being good”….

He got grace.

I wanna get grace like that…and stop trying to be this way or that way…stop worrying to death about whether or not to homeschool our children…stop worrying about if I am a good enough whatever…stop trying to hide my own ugliness or hide from the ugliness of sinful humanity…

I just wanna soak up grace and trust God for the unknowns…understanding I’m not good…Only God is Good…and He will interweave grace, beauty, and love through me like I could not believe…If I will just ask and let him…

I wanna be real…warts-and-all…real….

Like Johnny Cash.

Maris and I were painting this morning…and here is a watercolor of the Man in Black…